In honour of my dear friend Mr. Canada, and his waking morning into sobriety, I believe we should have a celebrity roast of sorts. It would seem only fitting that King Chief Fauxhawk should receive such tribal blessings, such as, it will only help to serve in his speedy recovery from his porcelain worship this morning.
Now, lest I remind anyone, flaming, is hardly acceptable. But posting your favourite LC stories, pics , memoirs, or even making up shit, is totally acceptable. Let us pay homage (homo-age? ) to the man-boy whom has so frequently forced us to ask, "What the fuck is that thing with the balls in your Av?"

Oh, and in case you missed how he spent his

You talk about extreme sports boy. That's where one too many Kokanee's will get you kids. It's true.

Anyway.

I beg of thee, CONTRIBUTE.

I remember that time me and Lance went hunting in the Ozarks one winter. A true male bonding hunting experience..

except for when he went to take a leak outside and fell asleep with his pants down and frostbite set in on his winky and the only way to bring it safely back to room temperature was to stick it in my butt..

yeah.. thats defnlee the way it happened..

I think it's great that Lance has finally come out of the closet.

It sure makes Christmas shopping for him a lot easier.

What.

Anyway, for those of you looking for something special for Lance, he likes moonlit walks through the bowery. He doesn't like holding hands, he prefers to stick his hand in your back pocket & vice-versa.

He also enjoys the long, deep, wet, rough kisses that only a burly lumberjacker can give after he's been out chopping wood alone for months.

Oh yeah. And the color fuscia really brings out the blue/green in his eyes.

And for a c-ring, he wears size .03.

Plus, the anal plug cannot be any smaller than an NFL size football, or it'll keep falling out. (That'd be 1 1/2 times larger than a Canadian football, for all of you in America jr.)

Congratulations to Lance-a-lot for finally becoming a legal man!

I'd like to be the first to say that this birthday in america is the last thing you have to look forward to until you turn 55 and can join AARP for the seniors discount. Pd could tell you more about that than I...anyways.

Lance, I hardly knew ya until that glorious day (and night) we spent together on the beach in Cabo. You told me your deepest secrets and feelings, and I'll never forget that secret you told about your messy breakup with Coren. And how if anyone knew you two had knocked boots that the Internets would go down in a blazing inferno.

I still don't think he's man enough for you, and I hope you've moved on since then. But if not, and you're looking for a change of pace, I do know of a certain hobag of the female variety that totally digs your fauxhawk, and has told me on more than one occasion..and I quote...

"If lance ever grew that fauxhawk again, I'd totally give him my 2nd virginity and be eternally his."

No lie, Lance, ask and you shall receive.

Anyways, happy birthday mano, nothing really special as you're not in the states, but all the same I hope you had a great 21st brotha. And to passing out many more times on the eve of the celebration of your birthday.

HA....I remember one time[when i was new 2 the game] i sent Mr.CaNaDa a PM asking

which he liked better,ECF or 411.......WTF was i thinking ............. oops

this is LC's roast not mine ...........well in that case,i dont got any bad dirt on

LC.

This is a little late, but I thought that I would share the story of the time that Lance ventured across the border into the real North American nation. He was arrested in a barn somewhere in Montana with his pants around his ankles, and a 12 year old boy kneeling in front of him. When his trial came around, his defense was that "It should be legal, because of the exchange rate and all". The judge felt so sorry for him that he banished him back to Canada and all the shittyness that brings. In protest, Lance decided to grow out the faux-hawk, and even the rest of the Canadians began to think that he was a bit off. Poor Lance.

And I'd have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those medling kids and that pesky dog!



That sexy, sexy dog...

How about a happy ending?

Can I have that instead?