I need to be myself
I can't be no one else
I'm feeling supersonic
Give me gin and tonic
You can have it all but how much do you want it?

Oasis's Supersonic played in the background as DeSean climbed the turnbuckle and raised the Aftershock title, he had a bittersweet feeling. It was his first singles title in TCW, had he won this title two years ago when he was facing GhettoGrass, Jack Frost and Kojack he would probably be happier but as he stood on the second turnbuckle hand raised, he knew he was holding a belt that was a little below him. Hardy holding the belt as he long as he did, raised the status of the Aftershock title but towards the end it only held him back, which is why DeSean had to pin his friend. He walked up the aisle and slapped hands with some of the fans, he turned around once more and held the belt high to some more cheers.

.......................

The morning sky in Rio de Janeiro was bright but you wouldn't know that if you stayed in DeSean's hotel room his curtains were closed giving the room a sense of dread and dreariness as he loudly slept in his queen size bed by himself, too tired to celebrate the minute he got in his bed and his head hit the pillow he fell asleep. He slept through two wake up calls and a knock on a door. Somehow his cell phone vibrating finally woke him up.

DeSean: Hello?

Stern: Where the hell are you?

DeSean: In my room, why?

Valerie: It's 1:00 in the Afternoon, what the hell are you doing?

DeSean: Sleeping! What do you want?

Valerie: To congratulate you on your Aftershock title win.

DeSean: Yea about that, Valerie look I have an ide.....

Valerie: It's Ms. Stern

DeSean: Whatever (DeSean begins to sit up in his bed) I have an idea for the Aftershock title...

Valeria: I don't care what your idea is, since your too fucking lazy to get out of your bed I'll just tell you now, your next match is against Inferno.

DeSean sighed, annoyingly he hit a nearby pillow with his fists and hit the headboard with his elbows, quietly showing his frustration.

DeSean: Is this because I pinned your boyfriend?

Valerie: I don't know who this boyfriend is you speak of but no it's not because you pinned David. Let's face it DeSean you want the Transcontinental title, not only that but you want to show that you can beat Matt Strikmore that you're better than him. You talk about how great you are, prove it beat Inferno and you get a TC title shot it's that simple.

DeSean: Fine bu...

Valerie: No buts, I have to go

DeSean: Wait

:Click:

DeSean: What a bitch!

DeSean hung up his cell, Inferno had a reputation of attacking his opponents before matches, which meant he had to be on lookout for the big man but hell he was going to be damned if he was going to be looking over his shoulder in his entire stay in Peru. There was only one thing he could do to prevent that he grabbed his Singapore Cane and left the hotel room. Not a second after he walked out, he was startled by a young Japanese girl staring up at him bright eyed.

DeSean; Wow you startled me, what's up?

He saw her hold a pen and a pad, which meant to him that she wanted an autograph or his number but she looked a little too young for him, so an autograph would do.

DeSean: You want an autograph? Sure, I can do that

He grabbed the pen and pad and scribbled his name in some fucked up cursive/print hybrid "To my #1 fan...." I never got your name.

Her silence broke and she spoke out with an enthusiasm that caught him off guard.

"Izumi!"
DeSean: Ok Izumi, To my #1 fan Izumi, thanks for the support, "The Technician" DeSean Blackwell" here you go.

Izumi took her pen and pad back and stuffed them both in her pocket or at least that's what DeSean thought she did. Either that or she knew magic and could make things disappear.

Uzimi smiled a wide Chester cat smile, showing all of her teeth.

Uzimi: Thanks and good luck with your match against Inferno.

The grin that DeSean had on his face left, he examined the girl more closely this time.He recognized who she was.

DeSean: I know who you are, your Inferno's manager, what do you really want?

Uzimi: I've come here in peace (pointing at his Singapore Cane) you don't plan on attacking him now do you? Because I would strongly advise against that.
........................
(1 hour later)

You are watching CNN International we will have more on the US Presidential primaries but first Arizona Presidential hopeful Senator Stephen MacDonald gave a passionate speech to a packed Arizona crowd in downtown Tucson. On his agenda, economy, education and of course drug testing in sports.

Stephen MacDonald: I stand before you people today to explain that I don't hate sports that's what my detractors men like Senator Obama a guy who looks down on hardworking American's like yourselves. I love sports as I love this country and let me say that I want sport organizations like the NFL, the NBA and MLB to clean up their act. If we cannot keep our athletes clean, what does this say about the government keeping America clean. Keeping drugs out of our children's bodies, this is becoming an epidemic, this country is going down the tubes because of family values being forsaken, abortion, same sexes getting married, I turn on the TV and on TCW there's a woman fighting a man. There are wrestlers being arrested for fighting each other on Airplanes....

Inferno: Enough of this asshole

Inferno turned the TV off, frustrated he picked up a lamp nearby and just threw it against the wall. Pieces of glass shattered all over the floor as he buried his hands in his mask, he had him beat and he knew if they got in the ring again he could beat Strikmore.

Inferno: You got lucky Matt

"Did he really?"

Inferno closed his eyes and let out a deep breath before turning around and seeing the young Izumi standing before him. He felt like taking his gloved hand, putting it around her throat and squeezing the life out of her but for some reason he didn't do it and he hasn't been able to follow through with it, whether he truly tried or not. Chewing gum, the teenage girl, hopped on his bed twice before plopping down in the sitting position.

Inferno: Yes he did get lucky, I had him beat, I had him crippled but you.

Izumi: Never got involved, you were too focus on crippling him and that's why you lost.

Inferno: Why are you here Izumi?

Izumi: You know why I'm here.

Inferno: You know what I mean.

Izumi: To tell who you'll be fighting next

Inferno: And who would that be?

Izumi: DeSean Blackwell, no sorry "The Technician" DeSean Blackwell.

Inferno: You sound like you're a fan of his.

Izumi: Well kinda he does have great hops and he does cool flips

Izumi demonstrated DeSean's maneuvers by performing an aerial cartwheel then a standing backflip. She then bowed as if there's was an room full of people judging her in gymnastics but instead there was silence as Inferno arms folded.

Inferno: DeSean won't be a problem.

Izumi: That's what you said about Matt and you lost, DeSean and Matt in a lot of ways are similar, same height but DeSean is a little heavier, a little more athletic and much more cockier. In a way he's a lot like you, you both live for competition for a challenge and he will take the fight to you. While you're hell bent on hurting him he's going to pin you and then he'll face Matt for the Transcontinental title so what are you going to do? Beat him or try to hurt him?

He stayed up for hours that night, ignoring the periodic headaches that came about due to his tiredness. He would nod off every so often, his head slowly tilting back, eyes closed, a
quick snore and then he would suddenly awake, shaking his head and slapping his face.

"He's fucking with me, he's just a man that's all I can beat him" he told himself this but did he really believe it? A wise man told him that doubt fucks up everything, cook yourself a dinner, give it the greatest spices in the world, put only the cleanest ingredients in the world into it and then add the world's finest wine to wash it all down. Now sprinkle it with a little doubt, those greatest spices in the world are the shittiest, those clean ingredients may have come from place that has an health grade of an F and that wine that came straight from Paris oh that might have brewed in some backyard alley. If he was going to beat Inferno the confidence would have to be there.

He stood up from his spot and walked around staying loose by shadow boxing.

"DeSean Blackwell with a right kick, connects hard to Inferno's jaw!" he said to himself mocking Isaiah Cane's voice.

"He kicked him harder than University of Texas All American kicker!" this time in a mocking Southwestern accent.

He answered himself making fun of Banter's voice, "If this was football, there would be a flag on that kick!"

"No it would not! He's going for the Hangman's DDT! Can he pick him up? Yes, he's got him, the fans have lost it, he hit it! He hit it! He hit it! He hit it! One! Two! Three!!!" he raised his arms in a celebratory manner softly yelling "Aw" the entire time. He paced back and forth in front of a mirror still celebrating before plopping back down on the bed.

" I can beat him, all it takes is one mistake and I got him" he reassured himself but doubt was creeping in again.

"Do you really think you can beat him?" He slowly looked up and saw himself talking....to....himself.

"You're just in my head, go away" he laid back on his bed and closed his eyes trying to make the negative thoughts disappear.

"Hey Newsflash asshole" his self doubt cupped his hands over his mouth emphasizing the asshole. "You're doing this to yourself, you always do when you're fucking some bitch at night and wondering if you're pleasing her. Who gives a fuck? As long as we get ours right?"

"Shut up!" DeSean pounded his head in frustration back it did nothing to curb the negative thoughts.

"No fuck you! We're realists right? That's what you always say right? Then let's be real you can't pick him up, hold him upside down and then drop him on his head! He's too big. Oh what? You're going to pull the Death Drop out ya ass? Yea right, he's 6'9" 290 pounds you're 6'1, 215 way too tall!"

"I'll put him in the Leg Stretcher"

"Yea like he's really going to tap?"

As the saying goes, doubt fucks up everything.

_______________________________________________

While DeSean was having a conflict with himself, there was strangely a feeling of tranquility in Inferno's room. Well considering the occupant is full of violence and hate it's a peaceful as it can be as both he and Izumi sat in silence. Inferno thoughts went back to his match against DeSean and how he was going to take pleasure on inflicting pain and punishment on the Nike sports star. The next big thing is wrestling, oh how he was going to love pounding on the so called Technician the future of wrestling, winning was secondary to inflicting pain and heartbreak but there was apart of him who wanted the Transcontinental title back and he knew it would kill DeSean mentally if he didn't win the match.

"I have a question?" Izumi broke the momentary silence.

"Can you ever stay quiet ?" he asked.

"No I can't" she casually replied back.

"What is it?"

"Why are you so sure you can play mind games with DeSean? He's a professional and very skeptical. I mean why would he be afraid...."

Inferno cut her off by putting his hand in front of her mouth and then putting his first finger in front of his own lips telling her to shush.

"I already told you, we have time before the match. DeSean has to wait and think about it, the inevitability that he will be facing me. What's one thing guys like him hate, it's failure and all of the other problems that come with failure."

"So you think DeSean is sitting in his room, sulking? Worried about the match? Izumi asked a little surprise about how certain Inferno felt.

"Yes I do what else could he be doing?"

______________________________________________

"What the fuck do you want me to do!" DeSean yelled back at doubt who was still criticizing him. "According to you, my 3 signature moves are fucking obsolete, so what do I do? Create some new move?"

"New move, you don't have the creativity. What the fuck would you do? You want to know my opinion just fucking leave, call Ms. Stern...no fuck that, go out to the ring, tell the fans fuck you and then declare Inferno the winner. That way you can leave with the Aftershock title on your shoulder and your body still intact. You're 22 and you don't need this shit."

"So I just leave? Give up, I've never been about that" he said to himself.

"Oh spare me the bullshit. Let's be real you're a jobber to the fucking stars they build you up and you fuck it up because you are shit. You can't wrestle for shit, you are shit get the fuck out!" he watched as doubt swung his hands and pointed at the door.

"And my endorsements?"

"You never deserved them in the first place. Face it DeSean you just don't have what it takes to run with the big dogs"

DeSean smiled and nodded his head, he giving up wasn't his deal. He's done a lot of shitty things to people some of it was deserve some of it wasn't but one thing he couldn't be criticized on was being a quitter. He knew if he wanted the Transcontinental title and Matt Strikmore then he would have to go through Inferno, he knew this and there wasn't anything he could do to change that so why was he bugging out?

"I don't quit" he replied back to himself.

"Then you'll ugh..." doubt couldn't even finish his sentence as DeSean grabbed him by the throat pushed him against the wall, hands tight around his neck he squeezed cutting the air supply.

"And I damn sure don't run, I'm going to beat Inferno because I am the better man."

"You'll...be a dead bitch"

"I rather be a dead bitch then a live pussy" with that DeSean cocked his arm back, turned his hand into a fist and swung connecting with doubt's jaw but not really connecting since it's imagination running wild but don't worry reality will soon set back in.

"OW! Jesus that hurt!" he shook his hand and then held it. Looking at the wall he noticed a hole in the wall where he punched. He looked down but didn't see anyone below him.

"Well that's going to take some explaining, aw I'll just tell her I was drunk." he knew that excuse wouldn't fly but it would be better than the actual alternative. Shaking the pain off,, he grabbed his cane and left his room. He knew that most of the boys were staying at the same hotel he was in, there was no point in dwelling and hiding. He wasn't going to spend his entire stay in Peru hiding, if Inferno truly wanted to fight him he would. He left his room and closed the door behind him, they say doubt fucks up everything but this time around he couldn't be fucked with.

"No, you're wrong about him," Izumi said.

"Why?" Inferno asked.

"He's got willpower," Izumi said, "and lots of it. You can't break him by playing the mind games alone."

"Then I'll break him for real, the mind will follow on it's own."

"Has that ever worked?"

"I'll MAKE it work this time..."

"No!" Izumi said, stepping in front of him. "You always do this! What is it with you, and your opponents? For once, can't you just have a respectful wrestling match?"

"Because that isn't how I wrestle. If you don't like it, stop me."

Izumi stood her ground. Inferno grabbed her by the shirt, and threw her onto the bed.

"Later," he said, grinning at her behind his mask.


-----------------------------

The door locked as he turned the key. DeSean pocketed them, turned around, and ran straight into a brick wall.

"FUCK, that hurt..." he said, rubbing his nose. How the hell could he have missed that? He looked up, and his eyes widened.

This was a brick wall, alright.

A dark, gigantic, breathing brick wall.

With two firey cat eyes staring right into his soul.

"Okay...okay...I can do this..." he told himself. Inferno was just a big pussy in a mask, right? Just kick him in the face.

DeSean thrusted his leg out, and whacked him right in the side of his jaw with a powerful kick. Inferno's head was knocked to the side sharply.

"Gotcha!" He said.

But this wasn't fantasy. This wasn't doubt.

It was a real, breathing monster.

"To this day, I thought I was the only one who talked to themselves so much..." Inferno replied. His head jerked back into position, and he smiled under the mask. "What's the matter? Were you expecting me to not show up?"

He knew Inferno would be out there...he just didn't know he'd be waiting right outside his hotel room. The difference between those two...he was armed. He lifted his Singapore Cane, and thrashed it right into the monster's head.

Inferno instead, blocked it with his arm. He could feel it sting right through the fabric of his shirt...but it was nothing compared to what DeSean would feel.

Two long arms shot out and grasped DeSean by the throat.Almost immediately he felt his lungs burning for air, as he was lifted, and pressed against the door. Desperation set in, he tried to kick, to punch to do anything to get him to let go...

And the pain magically disappeared...he watched the monster retreat. Then he turned right back around, and the last thing he saw was the cat eyes...swooping towards him like a nightmare...

...

Everything popped back into focus.

He was on the floor of his hotel room, his back pressing against wooden fragments. He could feel them piercing into his skin, his own weight driving them in... His vision cleared just enough to make out the cat eyes of the monster's mask. DeSean heard a sound, seemingly far away, muffled, like a sledgehammer pounding under the ocean.

There was an incredible pressure that kept pressing on his face. Over and over, it came down on him, and he felt the bones beneath his face crack, the meat of his flesh being pulverized...

And he felt no pain. No pain from the door fragments in his back. No pain from the monster, mounted atop him, bringing his fist down onto his face, his jaw, his forehead...

...

On his feet now, the monster had him by the shirt.

A few more punches that didn't hurt. He wasn't there to feel the pain.

Not exactly like you envisioned, huh?

...

Now on the floor again.

He could just barely perceive the smell of sheetrock and dust, pouring into his nostrils. He could barely feel the indentation in the wall, right behind him. Sweat saturated him.

He tried to stand up...but fell horribly. Not to worry though, the beast caught him first...and put him flat on his back again. Hard.

DeSean's legs went numb...

...

He heard the shattering of glass, and then felt the night air. He caught the gleam of glass in his body, still too far away to feel it puncturing him.

The cat eyes were gone.

...

In and out...in and out...

...

A half hour later, the sound of sirens, and the gleam of red and blue lights roused him.

This is reality, doubt told him. You fight a losing battle.

"Fuck...you..." he spat.

What have you got left? You've been destroyed. You've lost the match before it begun.

"I haven't lost. Not as long as I'm still alive..." he said. "I can still fight, as long as my heart still beats..."

So can a kitten. But a kitten will be torn apart by a pit bull.

"Don't compare me to a fucking kitten. I eat kittens for breakfast."

Yes, you scare kittens. Nice. Wouldn't that sell T-Shirts?

"There are too many fucking pussies in this world."

You could have a picture of them in a bowl of milk...

"Keep laughing. The more you tear me down, the more I know there's a man worth tearing down. You failed. Inferno's failed, and you know why?"

He coughed up blood, and laughed, blackened clots sticking to his lips.

"Because now I know he's scared of me. He thinks I might beat him one on one, or he wouldn't need to send a message...and if he believes in me..."

"I can believe in me..." He threw up, and the world was spinning round and round...

Double post.

"Did you have to attack him?" Izumi yelled at Inferno as he entered into the his hotel room. The 6'9'' 290 monster smiled through his mask and ignored her as he threw the room key down and hopped onto his bed, putting his hands behind his head looking up at the ceiling.

"Fine ignore me but let me tell you this, beating DeSean up before your match isn't going to prove anything, he doesn't break easily." Inferno continued to ignore Izumi as she continued talking, he proved his point and there was nothing she could say to prove him otherwise. He looked over at her as she reached into a bag that he just now noticed. She pulled out an ROH DVD and popped it in. She skipped some matches until she got to DeSean's, Inferno noticed the person DeSean was in the ring against was Alex Shelley. Izumi fast forwarded through the match until she got to a spot in which DeSean Irish whipped Shelley into the ropes and then leg lariated him out of the ring, once Shelley rolled outside to compose himself, DeSean ran across the ring, leapt on the top rope and landed a beautiful moonsault on top of Shelley. Izumi rewind the spot again and stopped it just in time to show DeSean landing awkwardly on his right leg, he fell to the ground and clutched it.

He dislocated his knee cap but he continued to wrestle and wrestle well. Izumi used the remote to show more high spots that DeSean pulled whole visibly showing pain in his face and favoring his right knee.

"You woke up an wounded animal, you think he's going to give up that easily?"

Inferno sat up from his spot, shaking his head.

"You don't get it do you? This isn't about wins or losses I inflicted pain on my opponent and that's all that matters. Winning is secondary, I already told you besides he was too busy kicking his own ass before I got to him. He's already lost in his own mind, I just confirmed it for him. He's probably in the hospital right now, pulling pieces of glass out of his body, wondering what he can do to beat me. While Peruvian doctors discuss how they should sew him up. He's already lost Izumi, I don't have to do anything else."

Inferno laid back down on his bed, stretched out looking as if he was just relaxing after an hard day's work.

................................................................

"I'm dizzy, I feel nauseous." head spinning DeSean struggled as he fought back the need to pass out.

"Hang on for me ok?"

"He's cut up real bad"

He could hear the heavy Hispanic accents as they discussed the situation before them, one paramedic noted that it looked like a car wreck the other paramedic noted how lucky DeSean was that no pieces of glass punctured a major artery.

"He's definitely going to need stitches, stick him with this." the paramedic grabbed a needle and tapped it, he handed it to the other medic as she stuck his arm with the needle. With his whole body in pain, the prick of a needle didn't mean shit to him right now. He got dizzier and dizzier, slowly going and out of conscious objects became blurry to him and as he stared up at the bright lights, he saw himself looking down on him. The ever present doubt showing his disapproval.

"Just to go to fucking asleep already!" doubt spoke to him and reached his hand down. As DeSean's eye balls started to roll back in his head and his eyelids closed.

..................................................................................

He woke up in a hospital bed with a splitting headache, he put his hand over his head and felt a bandage wrapped around his head. He looked down at his arms and noticed some cuts and bruises. The minute he stood up, he heard a loud "crack!" like sound come from his back. He walked over to the window in his room, he saw the reflection of himself staring back at him with doubt right next to him.

"The good news is that you suffered only some minor injuries than what was initially thought. Some cuts, some bruises, unfortunately some stitches. The good news is that you'll live the bad news is that you'll be coming to your own funeral in a couple of weeks." Doubt told him.

"Really?" DeSean responded, his back turned away from himself.

"Yes, he couldn't do shit against Inferno today, I don't think you realize the situation you're in."

"Oh I don't? I don't think you realize where we are. You see we're in a hospital, in the Emergency section. Tonight someone's going to lose a limb, an arm or leg. Some people are going to be paralyzed either from the neck or waist down. And some people might even die tonight, for whatever reason God saw fit to take them away from this world. Some have died before their time, never realizing their dreams." DeSean said staring outside his window looking at various patients sitting in wheelchairs and some nurses frantically stabilizing an bloodied patient.

"What's your point?"

"My point is that I'm still living, I have a couple of cuts and bruises I'm a damn wrestler it happens. I got thrown through an mirror who cares? I'm still breathing, I'm still living and as long as I continue to breath air in my lungs and as long as my heart continues to beat. I will continue my goal at being an champion." DeSean stopped talking when he didn't see a reflection of himself in the mirror anymore. Doubt had disappeared at least for now but he knew that sooner or later he would return, everyone doubts themselves but it's the strong ones who overcome it and conquer their fears, who let nothing or no one stop them from achieving their goals. He sat back down on his bed waiting for a doctor to come in and give him an official clearance and if he didn't get one, so be it that's why TCW had their own trainers.

................................................................................

The next day DeSean arrived at Estadio Modelo in Tacna, Peru for an house show he wasn't scheduled to wrestle but he wanted to make an surprise appearance. To show that he was still alive, to show Inferno his will wasn't going to be broken. He walked down the halls of the stadium heading towards the entrance, until she stopped him.

"Hold it right there, DeSean"

DeSean stopped and turned

"Yes, Valerie?"

"It's Ms. Stern, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm going to speak to the fans." he answered back,

"Don't BS me, I heard what happened between you and Inferno yesterday. You're going to go out there and provoke him. Believe me if I were you, I would be mad too but I don't want to give away this match for free and unadvertised."

"I'm not going to provoke him, just cutting a promo"

"Which will provoke him, look I'm handling the situation. Inferno is going to be fined so hard" DeSean could tell that even Valerie knew that statement wouldn't really stop Inferno from doing anything. He turned to James Sweeney told him to play "Supersonic"

"DeSean I'm warning you" Valerie pointed her finger at him as he stood in the entranceway.

"I need to be myself
I can't be no one else
I'm feeling supersonic
Give me gin and tonic


"It's too late Valerie, the songs playing, the fans are cheering do you want to tell them it was just a mistake?" DeSean asked in a smartass manner as Valerie didn't respond back.

"I thought so" DeSean walked through the ropes, slapping hands with fans until he got into the ring. He grabbed a mic, tapping it twice and motioning for the volume to be turned up, when it was he spoke into it.

"Peru, what's up?" the fans cheered at the cheap pop.

"You're probably wondering why I'm out here, well I'm not wrestling." some of the fans boo at missing the chance at seeing the exciting Technician wrestle.

"Don't get me wrong, I wanted to wrestle but last night, I got attacked by my opponent at Friction Inferno." the fans boo some more at the mention of Inferno's name and his actions so far.

"Well I'm out here to show Inferno, that I'm still here and at Friction you're going to have to kill me in order to win. You see you can't break my spirit Inferno, a wise man once said that ideas live on forever well I feel the same way about my ambitions about my dreams." the fans cheer as DeSean continues.

"Inferno, I know you're in the back somewhere, probably hiding in the dark somewhere playing with yourself, you fucking freak! You can't kill my dreams and my goals and I have a goal and that goal is to become a world champion." more cheers ring out as DeSean wonders in the back of his head if the Peruvian fans actually understand what he's saying.

"Inferno what you don't understand, is that what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger and at Friction your career in TCW will be engulfed in flames." on that note DeSean left the ring while Supersonic played over the speakers.

He turned and raised the Aftershock title above his head to more cheers, perhaps it would be the last time he would be holding it. He held it up high in the air as he backtracked through his curtains, he raised it in defiance showing that he was full of fighting spirit and that his will couldn't be broken.