So let me set the scene for you. I'm unemployed. I graduated from university a few months back and we've recently relocated for Emma's work. I'm looking for work but, as always, these things take time - closing dates, shortlisting, etc. etc. So, in he meantime I claim unemployment benefit - what we call Jobseeker's Allowance here in the UK.

It starts with a phonecall, then they give you a date to visit their office (in a town that's a 30 minute bus ride away for me) and you go and talk to people for, like, an hour. At this stage, I've reeled out my details at least twice. The first time on the phone, where they ask this question:

"Have you had a job in the last two years?"

Since I've been at college (and didn't work my last summer), I answer in the negative.

Same question comes up when I'm in the office.

"And you haven't worked in the last two years, right?"

"Nope."

See, there are two kinds of Jobseeker's Allowance - they both pay the same amount, btw - Contribution-based and Income-based. Contribution based is assessed based on how much National Insurance you've paid in the previous year (i.e. what small fraction of your income the government have taken). For me this figure is £0, because I haven't worked for two years and, even when I did work before that, I was a student and we pay only a tiny amount of NI. Income-based allowance is much simpler: if you have no money, they give you some. As I say, it's exactly the same amount per week, but based on your savings and current income (both of which are low enough to entitle me to benefits).

You can see where this is going, can't you?

Almost a week after going into the office, filling in everything, being told to come in September 2nd to claim for the following two weeks (i.e. making it abundantly clear that I was eligible for this shit), I got a letter this morning telling me my application was refused because I hadn't paid any NI for the last year.

Well...yeah...that's because I haven't worked... Didn't we go through this? Obviously I'm after the Income-based allowance: it makes no sense for me to go for the Contribution-based one. So I call up their helpline or whatever, and it turns out that everyone goes through the Contribution-based assessment first and only if a certain box is ticked do they think "hey, maybe this guy who hasn't worked for two years would prefer to be assessed on his income instead of his non-existent contributions?"

Turns out someone didn't tick that box.

To reiterate: it's the exact same amount per week. There is no added benefit to being a recipient of Contribution-based allowance, so it essentially exists for the sole reason of refusing people help if a form is filled in incorrectly. Also, it's laughably easy to keep getting this allowance once your foot is in the door - I have to apply for three jobs every two weeks to qualify, and don't have to provide actual proof of doing that: I just write down what I applied for on a little form thing and wave it at the guy so he can stamp a thing to make money arrive in my account.

So now I'm missing out on my Jobseeker's Allowance for this week at least, and I might have to go through this whole process again because it didn't occur to the woman I talked to for an hour that not working for two years = Income-based allowance, not Contribution-based allowance.

No, this is the thing - when I went in to sort it out it was all great! The woman who dealt with me was nice and helpful, everything was completely fine and pleasant and it was definitely made clear that everything was sorted and that I'd be getting money imminently. I wasn't even aware there was another thing to process, so this letter was completely out of the blue. I was already booked in to come for what was essentially my second signing-on next week, so as far as I was concerned the whole thing was completely sorted. It's like, does this letter override what I've been told in person? I'm supposed to be going in to claim: am I going to show up and be told I'm not entitled to it after all? If so, that's like an hour round trip for nothing...

I called the number on this letter and the woman just said to go in and talk to them when I was going anyway, but it's going to be very annoying if they turn around and say I have to start the whole process again (and you can bet I won't be able to see someone right there and then if that's the case).

It's all bollocks