Jesus Christ...

Some background: I'm 22 now, just finished my second year of university, living with my girlfriend (who's graduated) and looking for a summer job. It's not going well. There just aren't that many jobs around here, and I'm sending CVs off and filling in application forms, but just not hearing anything back. I'm signed up with a couple of agencies too.

Anyway, it's not actually that big a deal, as I've spent very little of my student loan over my too-many years of uni, so I have money to survive, and my girlfriend works full time too. We're doing okay.

But I'd like a job, and my dad would like me to get a job too, understandably (though right now he isn't paying for anything). But, until I get one, he will not be appeased. I tell him I'm applying for stuff and that I'm calling in on the agencies to find stuff, and he says I should be actually going to businesses and shops and bugging managers.

Uh...they just tell me to hand in a CV or fill in an application form...

That's how you get a job, dad.

Thing is, he got every job he ever had (he worked in local government for, like, 35 years and now he's retired does part-time in a warehouse) through knowing the boss. He's actually friends with the managing director of the company he now works for, even though he's just works on the warehouse floor. So he thinks I can get employed by going up to a total stranger, interrupt their working day and bug them for a job. I don't have a lot of contacts in the local community here (language barrier doesn't help...) so it's not like I can just stumble into a job; I have to compete and apply through the normal channels.

Gah.

Sounds like everything I never had to deal with when I was on the job hunt. That fucking sucks, mate... and to be honest, I ain't got an answer for you - just depends on your parents and your upbringing. I guess.

Seems like your dad is one of those 'it's who you know' types, judging by his current position... and I know what you mean about the whole CV/app form cop out. It's a load of bollocks, as they either tell you they've got nothing, or they ask you to provide them with your vitals and then you just pray to God they'll call back.

And then they don't. Cunts.

I did plenty of cold-calling... and it was only by making a phone call (on an absolute whim, might I add) did I get the job that I've got now. It's tough, and the last thing you need is someone up your arse. For the record though, those twatting agencies are a waste of time.

Just do what you thinks best, and as long as your old man's not making threats... bollocks to him!

Dude they don't. Ever. If they did it all your life and you're a perfectly reasonable, responsible person, they don't stop. I've gone through this too, but with my mother. I'm 23, graduated from college with TWO degrees, a full time job, I have plans for the future, I won't mooch from my parents, blah blah blah. I have my shit together right?

My dad always left me alone, he knew I could take care of myself, and he was there if I needed him and offered me great advice. He trusts my judgment and has a clear look into my head: knows what I'm thinking because we think so much alike.

My mother and I, on the other hand, are completely different. She's always accused me of either not taking things seriously, or doing so too much. When I would live with her during the summers, I helped out around the house because she didn't charge me rent - mowing the lawn, occasionally cooking and cleaning turned into landscaping, cooking and cleaning everyday - I was working part time too. I don't always have time for everything, especially when I have a boyfriend that I want to spend time with too. But if it didn't get done, I was irresponsible and a mooch who was going to amount to nothing and who obviously didn't care about her mother. How I dress, the way I act, sit, talk, whatever, its not good enough.

Sometimes you just can't win - but what sucks is that because its parents, you don't want to turn your back to em you know? There's too much guilt there. Thats why I ended up painting last Saturday....

In fairness, I should have clarified somewhat and said that my mother is absolutely fine - she wouldn't give a damn if I didn't work during the summer, as she reasons that I have my whole life once I leave uni to work for a living, and right now if I don't need the extra money, it's no problem. Personally, I would like a job, but it's not a life or death thing, and it would be a whole lot less stressful if I didn't have a weekly phone call from my dad where we rehash the exact same conversation every single time (my parents are divorced, incedentally, which is actually slightly funny because one of the things my mother dislikes about him is his nagging and way of talking down to people - so she's only too happy to listen to me bitch about him).

It's not even that he runs me down or anything, he just has this real...I dunno...the best way to describe it is "teacher", I guess...way of talking to people. You know when someone doesn't get mad, they just get helpful and a bit condescending? It's impossible to argue with the guy, because he always sounds totally reasonable, even when he's telling me to go into a supermarket and actually seek out a shift manager to have a conversation with, which I know perfectly well will result in this person saying "uh...get an application form from the front desk...".

He has a thing about money too, which is a whole other issue, but it means that whenever our relationship starts to get financial in nature (as it inevitably does with me being at university), it goes very sour. I'm not especially concerned with money - it's just a means to an end for me - but he's just an extremely thrifty person. There's nothing wrong with that, but he's bred into me this sense of guilt about spending money on myself, which sucks. I'm pretty smart with my money (no debts outside of student loans, always keep track of how much I have), but I think I should be able to spend a tenner on something I want without it being a major decision...