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Kermit
Too much time on my hands
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2006 4:52 am Posts: 1107 Location: Arizona
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Heard any good jokes lately?
What's the best way to eat a frog?
Put the back legs behind the ears and dig in.
_________________ When the going gets tough, I get tough henchmen
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Wed May 09, 2007 5:57 pm |
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Thommy H
Linda McMahon
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 3:01 pm Posts: 6242
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Ewwww...
Ok, three guys are walking on a beach, a Hispanic-American, a White-American and an African-American. They're chatting away when one of them stubs his toe on something. They clear the sand away and it's a lamp. "Wow," the Hispanic-American exclaims, "should we rub it?"
All three men agree, and they each rub the lamp. Lo and behold, a genie appears. "I am a Genie! And I grant three wishes to whoever rubs my lamp. Which of you rubbed it?" he asks
"Well," the White-American explains, "all of us did, actually..."
"Okay, says the genie. Fair's fair - there are three of you, so you can have one wish each."
Everyone agrees this is the best solution so he turns to the African-American first. "What would you like?"
"Well," the black man begins, "I'm a great campaigner for African-American rights and recognition of our heritage. My dream is to go to Africa and see the land from which my ancestors were taken so long ago. I would love it if my respect for our origins was shared by all our people and, to that end, I would love it if every black person in America could return to the motherland and experience the beauty of that wonderous continent."
"Right," the genie says, "done." He looks to the Hispanic-American next. "What would you like?"
"Well," he begins, "I'm from Puerto Rico and I have a university education. I came to America to make a decent living, but unfortunatley I couldn't get much work when I first arrived and before long I was waiting tables. I've been trying to find jobs to suit my qualifications for years now, but employers just see me as a latino with a menial job and I never even get considered! If I'm honest, I wish I'd never even come to America, because I could have done much better for myself back home. I see this story repeated all over the country with hispanics like me and I wish everyone could see things the way I do. To that end, I'd love it if every Latin American person in America could come with me back to South America and get the jobs they deserve in their homeland."
"Fair enough," the genie days, "done." Finally, he turns to the White-America. "And what do you want then?"
He thinks about what's been done already and then shrugs. "I guess I'll just have a coke."
_________________ - lots and lots of short fiction, written by me, regularly updated.
- it's a space opera novel I wrote.
I have some shit on Kindle too: ,
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Wed May 09, 2007 6:28 pm |
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Matt Strikmore
Too much time on my hands
Joined: Sat Jun 03, 2006 4:26 pm Posts: 1287
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Boondock Saints!
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Wed May 09, 2007 6:38 pm |
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Thommy H
Linda McMahon
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 3:01 pm Posts: 6242
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Is it from that? I've only seen it once, and I knew that joke beforehand, so I don't associate it with the movie if it is
_________________ - lots and lots of short fiction, written by me, regularly updated.
- it's a space opera novel I wrote.
I have some shit on Kindle too: ,
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Wed May 09, 2007 6:47 pm |
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Kermit
Too much time on my hands
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2006 4:52 am Posts: 1107 Location: Arizona
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So a Priest and a Rabbi are sitting on a park bench, when they see a ten year old boy walk by. The Priest says "Hey. Let's go screw that kid." To which the Rabbi replies "Out of what?".
_________________ When the going gets tough, I get tough henchmen
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Wed May 09, 2007 6:57 pm |
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Thommy H
Linda McMahon
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 3:01 pm Posts: 6242
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How do you get 200 dead babies into a phone box?
A blender.
How do you get them out again?
A straw.
_________________ - lots and lots of short fiction, written by me, regularly updated.
- it's a space opera novel I wrote.
I have some shit on Kindle too: ,
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Wed May 09, 2007 7:03 pm |
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Kermit
Too much time on my hands
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2006 4:52 am Posts: 1107 Location: Arizona
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What's the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
Bowling balls can't be unloaded with a pitchfork.
_________________ When the going gets tough, I get tough henchmen
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Wed May 09, 2007 7:06 pm |
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Thommy H
Linda McMahon
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 3:01 pm Posts: 6242
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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
An erection.
_________________ - lots and lots of short fiction, written by me, regularly updated.
- it's a space opera novel I wrote.
I have some shit on Kindle too: ,
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Wed May 09, 2007 7:11 pm |
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P
...
Joined: Wed May 14, 2003 6:20 am Posts: 7231
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How do you make a baby cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock on it's teddy bear.
How many dead babies fit in the world trade center?
None, anymore.
_________________ Zeph: Chucko wouldn't hit it. That's sad.
Confundo Ergo Sum
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Wed May 09, 2007 7:23 pm |
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Thommy H
Linda McMahon
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 3:01 pm Posts: 6242
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_________________ - lots and lots of short fiction, written by me, regularly updated.
- it's a space opera novel I wrote.
I have some shit on Kindle too: ,
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Wed May 09, 2007 7:33 pm |
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P
...
Joined: Wed May 14, 2003 6:20 am Posts: 7231
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_________________ Zeph: Chucko wouldn't hit it. That's sad.
Confundo Ergo Sum
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Wed May 09, 2007 7:41 pm |
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Thommy H
Linda McMahon
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2005 3:01 pm Posts: 6242
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_________________ - lots and lots of short fiction, written by me, regularly updated.
- it's a space opera novel I wrote.
I have some shit on Kindle too: ,
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Wed May 09, 2007 10:59 pm |
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Kermit
Too much time on my hands
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2006 4:52 am Posts: 1107 Location: Arizona
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_________________ When the going gets tough, I get tough henchmen
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Wed May 09, 2007 11:19 pm |
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Flyboy
Paranoid Limey Stud
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 6:24 pm Posts: 1968 Location: Somewhere safe. Somewhere familiar.
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My dog's got no nose.
(How does he smell!?!)
Like badger blood.
_________________ In the next 60 minutes, you'll ride shotgun in the most dangerous, wild, brazen chases ever caught on tape. We bring it to you for one reason. Cause Knowledge is Power, and Power that could...
SAVE YOUR LIFE!
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Thu May 24, 2007 12:24 pm |
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Sandman
IC Champ
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 10:56 pm Posts: 395 Location: Cold Spring Harbor, NY
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Post Deleted by the Sandman being intoxicated
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Thu May 24, 2007 9:42 pm |
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Kermit
Too much time on my hands
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2006 4:52 am Posts: 1107 Location: Arizona
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YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO BEING DRINKING SANDMAN!
_________________ When the going gets tough, I get tough henchmen
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Thu May 24, 2007 9:52 pm |
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Sandman
IC Champ
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 10:56 pm Posts: 395 Location: Cold Spring Harbor, NY
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haha, i had to see what drinking did to one's posts. And yes, i am 5 years away from being able to legally drink
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Thu May 24, 2007 10:08 pm |
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