What can I say? I'm a funny fucking cnut.

And "imagined" is the word of the day, kids.

ZING #2! DAMN.

I have found the guys find poop funny. I think its in our DNA. Girls don't find it as funny as we.

when I think about it.. pooping on someone's desk probably shouldn't be as funny as it seems.

If you poop on a desk.. it just falls to the desk with a sick thud..

yes yes.. for assumption's sake, we're assuming normal crapping conditions here.. No gale force wind gusts with an output equal to that of a woodchipper ok.. cuz that shits funny ALWAYS..

so as I was saying.. a turd just drops onto the desk and "plup".. thats it.. not very funny...

But lets mess around with the available audio options here.. Pooping out a window in a 20 story building could yield most interesting results.. because I'm pretty sure you could dent a car doing that.. Now compare the "plup" and the rattle of some papers with "bang!" and the screams of pedestrians..

now you may argue that sound quality is not the source of the most humor.. fine.. because when it comes right down to it.. when you crap on someone's desk (or doorstep).. you are just sparking a border dispute which can only end one way....


go to your local college electrical lab... get what is known as a "can crusher" (or giant CAPACITOR).. wheel it next to the offending parties cubicle and place a turd in the 'can' slot..

then run...

really far..

because this puppy is going to vaporize that turd and its going to get EVERYWHERE..

now thats funny.

My mate, when at the Reading Festival, pooped in the tent of some guy he hated. Shame there wasn't room within it's canvas confines for a nice ol' desk. Still, it cracks me up every time I think about it.

The hilarity of work space defecation is not obvious at first, even to a wizened observer of workplace shenanigans, such as myself.

The initial reaction is laughter purely based on the assumption that Big Michael has put forth: to males of the species Homo sapiens (I really just wanted to type "homo" which is just a word that makes me giggle every time... say it without laughing.... homo... it's not possible) turds are funny. This probably dates back to the days when we swung from the tree tops, raining shit down upon each other in a battle for domination of the pack, and mating rights with the women. While women have evolved beyond the fascination with defecation, not only as a bodily necesity, but as a means of humiliating your rivals and asserting your dominance over them, men are still very much in touch with this base instinct.

The humiliation of others will always be great entertainment for men, and there is quite frankly nothing funnier and more humiliating than hitting someone in the face point blank with a shit bomb when they are absolutely not expecting it.

That being said, in this day and age, tossing handfulls of your own excretus at each other is (sadly) no longer socially acceptable. No matter how bad you want to hit your boss in the head with a mud pie.

On the other hand, we as males still have that need to humiliate and show our Alpha-ness. A turd on your opponents desk is a perfect opportunity.

Now that I have delved into the reasons behind the initial reaction to work space defection, I would like to discuss it's more subtle hilarity.

On top of the subconscious, instinctive hilarity inherent in the act, there is also the cognitive hilarity. When you begin to mentally chew the thought with your mind, you realize that poop, quite frankly, does not belong on a desk. Amidst the disarray of documents, TPS reports, file folders, and perhaps the text books of academia, you expect to find pens, pencils, sticky notes, calculators, staplers. Maybe an issue of Playboy you forgot to hide in your bottom drawer after a post-lunch session of knuckle shuffling in the far stall of the least used bathroom in the building (or perhaps in your boss's office. However, work space ejaculation is a topic for another day).

The log you have left upon your hapless coworker's desk is totally out of context. It does not belong, and that is what gives it cognitive hilarity. The initial satisfaction of pinching a loaf and asserting your superiority over the office jack off that no one likes is good... but ruminating upon the location and how terribly out of place the turd has become is what gives this joke it's lasting alure.

That's why this joke is funny every single time.

It is not enough for a joke to touch us instinctually. It must touch us on a cognitive level as well.

That's gotta extracted be from some kind of high brow book about fecal matter and the male psyche.

Yeah that's what that is.

Thanks for the pub ammo.

Highbrow book my left ass, that all came from within me own pe-sized brain.

Didn't you all know I have a PhD in fart jokes?

Damn...Sangre you should teach a class on Evolution of feces and the male psyche..itd be very popular