Also known as, unless you're a Superstar, you ain't freelancing (sorry LC) on Wednesday - "Hump Day".

Certainly there is no more nookie (tibation aside) on this day than on the weekend, and I can prove it in two simple steps (Man, I knew we needed that 18 or older button out front) stemming from one major point:

FRIDAY is 99% of the time payday unless you are a part of the SERVICE industry, by that I mean Server, Bartender - Tipped employee, otherwise, you my friend are a FRIDAY HERO.

1. If you are married (I'd say like me, but once you add the kids factor that's a whole new level of "You wanna WHAT?!?!"), you bring home the bacon to the household to your significant other, and at that sparkling moment, you my friend, are the king or queen of the world. Prepare to worship (Cues Marvin Gaye)

2. If you are (*cough*SMART*cough*) NOT married. You be the King or Queen of all ye survey. Friday night on pay weeks = party weekends = hookup central. Maybe not EVERY weekend, and maybe not every person. But there's a good majority of you. I buy you drinks (or whatever) you buy me drinks (or whatever) - and by whatever, I mean just that, different strokes for different folks - dinner, dancing, movies, W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R.

(Ir)Regardless. A large, and I mean massive number of you people are hookin' up. Some of you the next day may run and hide, but this was YOUR DAY. You knew what you had goin' on, Tequila goggles and everything. You did bitch!

You don't see this happening on Wednesday's at Harold's by the free pickle bar. You aren't picking up any lady friends that way. When you're at Ryan's Buffet, on "Hump Day" it ain't about ambiance and atmosphere as you attempt to stave off the rhino charge of caned geriatrics from the taco table with you plastic tray. You ain't spittin' game. You're spittin and huffin and puffin because you have to stretch your $$$$$$ to Friday (or should we change that to FLYYYYDAY?). And you're also spittin teeth because you didn't have your shoulder high enough at the soft serve and the gray hair with the walker took you out. No humpin' there, except the floor, brah.

See, ever since it was called "Ame", because they put the "G" in front for me [holla], it was about how you called it. And I call it like this. Hump Day ain't SHIT. Some jackass did it because he thought Wednesday was probably too hard to spell. The only logical reason I can come up with that they had to use "Hump Day" for Wednesday was that it was the cruel irony laden in the fact that they realized NO ONE was getting much, if ANY until Friday.

And as in such, now ending tie raid in 3..2..

uhm.

my girlfriend's birthday is today.

I think she wants to hump tonight.

I prolly should buy her something then, right?

Preach on brotha licious...

I'm feeling the urge to hump though...

mmm...that table over there looks pretty giving...

Be right back...

The term "Hump Day" has nothing to do with the physical act of love.

Lonely boys and you lonely girls
Here at the end of the lonely world
You're finding out
If there's someone to cry about.

Lonely girls and you lonely boys
Playing alone with your lonely toys
Well don't be blue
If there's no one to play with you

Get a grip on yourself, you know you should.
I got a grip on myself and it feels good.
Get a grip on your self, take my advice
I got a grip on myself and it feels nice

When the lights come on and the party's through
There are always a few with nobody to do
Well now don't despair
You'll eventually get there

And meanwhile all of you lonely ones
Here's what to do while you wait for the sun
To rise above
The loneliest kind of love

Get a grip on yourself you know you should
I got a grip on myself and it feels good
Get a grip on yourself take my advice
I got a grip on myself and it feels nice

And it feels nice

If you're looking for someone to get a grip on you
First you gotta get a grip on yourself it's true